Some Catch Up - from the last 2 years

I wanted to give a little preface to blog entries to come since my last entry was more than two years ago. Just a summary in events that led me back to writing and being creative for myself. Mid summer of 2012 I left my job working for a major outdoor equipment and clothing manufacturer and decided to jump into a chance at a bigger seat in a smaller company. I never realized how much this decision would be such an eye opener and change so much in my life. Two weeks after starting that job I received a text from my wife at the time asking if I had checked my email while I was out with some employees from the new gig climbing. The email in reference was a formal request for a divorce with a full explanation of reasons why and well thought out expressions of love, defeat, sorrow, and the sincerest apologies I hope to ever receive in an email again in my life. I can't say it was easy to take the money I had saved for her to join me on a trip later that year in Canada and pay a lawyer to officially end what was a great love story but was apparently necessary to both of us. I was being blessed with the freedom to pursue my dreams and ambitions with every last second of my life. The encouragement didn't sink in immediately. I went through a pretty solid depressed state trying to figure out what I needed but luckily I am surrounded by so many good souls that helped to distract me and drive me forward. Just before leaving for Canada to be present for the premiere of a timelapse documentary project I had spent a few years assisting with (https://vimeo.com/45941676) I met a wonderful soul who opened my eyes and encouraged me even more. She enveloped me with inspiration and love and we created memories I will never forget. There was a part of my soul which had slowly gone dormant and become so forced it was something I didn't even have the room for in my thought process. My own personal creativity was being rekindled with music and art in such a nostalgic way. It was like I had forgotten about the skills I had developed over my lifetime and they were all rushing back in an overwhelming tsunami. Something happened spiritually too and for better or worse we fell out of the relationship at just over a year. There were similarities in the reason for it and yet again I was being released into the wild to pursue my dreams. I spent a few months focusing on work and dusting off the creative skills that I had put on the shelf years before. Photography, music, and writing were some of the skills I was starting to resurrect in a great way. Due to my profession at the time my photos and some writings were being featured in articles, billboards, social media, and catalogs. After a few months of being single and having the time for another practice I had lost, I decided to join a Yoga studio. There was a studio upholding a great reputation near my home and I knew it would be my best choice for convenience and heightened my chances of meeting my goals of practicing every day. Little did I know how much getting back in the studio would change my life and so rapidly. My goal was to practice hot yoga for ninety days with only goals of restoring my body back to a more healthy state after the accumulation of trauma I had put it through in the previous few years, and to help prep for a climbing trip I had planned for June 2014. This trauma included a few fifty mile races, a lot of paddling, riverboarding, mountaineering and climbing, not to mention four car accidents scattered throughout. So on I went and excluding some holidays and sickness I did it. I had practiced yoga for years before but barely ever with a dedicated daily practice on the mat. It changed everything. I dropped from 155 to 135lbs, regained balance in my legs, my breath control came back, and I manage hydration better than ever too. That's just the physical transformation which I've realized is an important part of balance but only a small part. The big changes were mental. The studio I practiced at was filled with positive energy in the form of authentic love, passion, and inspiration from a wonderful group of students and teachers. My soul ate it up and still can't get enough. The realization that negative thoughts aren't worth your time and that being yourself is the most important thing in your life were hard to grasp for me. While I thought of myself as a positive person I had let so much build up for so long that my foundation had become littered with points of weakness. It felt like I was stripping my foundation down to the ground and rebuilding simpler foundations particle by particle. This was necessary for some reason and my way of going about it may have even been scary to some of my teachers. I would go to class without letting any excuse get in the way(except communicable disease). Sometimes I would experience full body lockups that I could only compare to "the wall" most endurance athletes hit at some point and required some help from the teachers so as to keep me from blacking out in their class. Over time my body and mind realized I was serious and started getting with the program. Then shit started to happen. On the way into class one day a few weeks before a local artist stopped me on the sidewalk, called me out by name, and said that a friend had referred them to me and that they would like my help with a few things business wise. It took a few communication hurdles but somehow we started into a great relationship that put a little spark back in the entrepreneurial spirit I had left long ago to seek out a position that "benefited" me more. Through some mutual networking we ended up placing him on stage doing live painting at a popular music festival and I had free reign to shoot the whole thing as I saw fit. It was just the creative outlet I needed to provide me yet another reinforcement that I was going in the right direction. Then, I took a trip out west with some friends on a whim and jokingly kicked off the trip in one of the rainiest regions of the US with a declaration that if we stayed positive and smiling the weather would follow and we wouldn't have to worry about the moisture getting in the way of our quick jaunt. Thing is I could believe it when we finished our trip after spending only one evening under cover. The night before we left I went to explore the city and ended up at a bar talking with someone about yoga, nutrition, and the outdoors but the one thing that resonated was the discussion about how some people were letting the fear of hurting the environment keep them from saving it. Not overall relevant but the timing on conversations like this were starting to creep me out. and it didn't stop. That said when I returned from the Pacific NW I was stoked to go after and pursue the culture and community I needed in my life even more. To my surprise I went to a recap meeting with my boss at the time and he laid out an opportunity for me to move into a free lance position instead of being a part of the corporate family I had anything but settled into. The decision was pretty easy and my answer was no. Not no to the freelance work but no to working for the company at all. Something told me to do it so I listened. I had one client that had retained me and no other solid leads on work. I didn't know what I was going to do. All I knew is that after sending that email I immediately scheduled my class for that night at the studio. I also had done something else the night before which was way out of my standard. I had secured a slot at an acoustic open mic hosted by a friend of mine so I took the stage after class that day for the first time in fifteen years. For some reason everything in my mind was calm and collected. Everyday whatever direction I was headed in felt more and more right. As I transitioned away from a daily grind and started to step out on my own I used the last few weeks of my monthly membership at the studio to take in a mixture of classes. And it got weird. My first class back after the trip my teacher had been sick and it threw the entire sequence off to the point that we actually ended up not even completing a full series. I somehow needed this hiccup mentally and physically. The next day's class was semi-normal and then a substitute teacher put together an inversion class which for some reason I ended up tweaked from and low and behold what should have been a brutal class the next day turned out to have such low attendance that it turned into a thai massage workshop which was much needed over whatever I had signed up for. This followed by a teacher who had just come back from India full of new techniques to share which helped me greatly and then somehow I lined up to pull off doubling up on classes two days in a row which was exhilarating in itself. I had made some personal goals to brush up on some of the disciplines I wanted to get back into my practice and had to break a "personal rule" by taking a class from a teacher I'd been crushing on since before she was even teaching at the studio because it was one of the last classes of its kind before my membership was over so I changed my rule. The new rule is about not having personal rules. Everything just kept seeming to fall into place at the right time or when it needed to. I was pursuing work that I wanted to do. This meant I was looking for gigs in the outdoor industry that involved me getting into the outdoors. I wasn't going to work a JOB anymore. Little did I know I was developing the strength to go after my dreams. And then the phone call came. I had reached out to an acquaintance who's impression had stuck with me from the second I met them. While I had put my feelers out as soon as I was looking for work initially, there just wasn't enough work for me. The offer I received was minimal but yet again something said take it. And I listened. Honestly the timing couldn't have been more perfect. I was gearing up to head to California and there wasn't even a need for me until I got back. Plus, this "boss" despises that title as well as "sir" and the only real requirement of me was that if there is a hurricane pushing a swell towards the east coast I am required to pack a quiver and head that way. It was nearly impossible to say no to that and you never have to ask me twice to get on the water. I had an amazing trip in California in the High Sierra's and even celebrated my 31st birthday out there. Yoga ended up being my past time for this adventure whether I was at 13000 feet or sea level. Hasn't really stopped either. As soon as I got back to town I packed up and started heading up to the mountains every weekend to guide stand up paddleboarding trips and take pictures of guests enjoying them. I started putting everything I had into the development of dreams that I had reserved for over 10 years, and that everyone special to me was pushing me towards, that were now becoming a reality. The networking that has spawned from taking this job as well as the mind blowing trips I've been honored to join, plus the time and freedom it has allowed me to put my passions on paper is indescribable. The immense power and energy that I feel from being on the water and in the mountains is overwhelming. I have nothing but love in my heart and have never felt this whole in my life. Even the relationship with my family has shifted for the better. I sit here finishing this blog entry knowing that this summary doesn't come close to sharing what I've learned since I last wrote one. I have a meeting very shortly that if successful will become the jumping off point for me to take a stab at making a positive difference in the world for generations to come. Hopefully not just the small world but the whole world. I can't wait to share what happens next. Thanks for reading. More to come soon. Peace and Love.